Practices and control - Introduction (3).

Conflicts often arise from the individual's inability to choose, to benefit from at least some kind of free will be it illusory. That is why we quickly conclude that the more choice the individual has for structuring his life, the more frictionless and satisfying it will be. His great capacity for adaptation has allowed man to survive and impose himself even in extreme environmental conditions. Just think of the Eskimos, the Aborigines in the wildernesses of Australia or the Bedouins in the wildernesses of Africa or Arabia! Who is not flexible closes in the face of life situations that are always changing, the only constant thing in life being just eternal change (which is easy to confirm by/by our own experiences).

And because flexibility is so important in successfully overcoming the problems that life puts in front of us, an extremely important principle will be to create choice possibilities in the effort to solve them. Therefore, a conflict is easily identifiable when constraints of approach and resolution are identified. Who can only address a problem in one way, has "bad cards" when this no longer works. Once a possible conflict (or more) is identified, it is obvious that one or more possibilities must be identified to "fragment" this conflict, to diminish it by simply creating "smaller units" of it. So, alternatives, fragmentation or both...

And, the first step is pretty simple... Anyone is able to achieve anything in a way that is specific to them. It's as trivial a principle as it is real. In a video posted the other day on the clone of Facebook (New Medicine), entitled "Life without limbs" presents the story of a particularly powerful character. This is a man who was born without hands and feet but managed to integrate and live by proving the viability of the principle stated above. Before seeing this movie, any of us could think (certainly) that someone with such a great disability can't do much in his life. Search for the film, give about an hour of your life by watching it and you'll see that you weren't right.

I have seen this and, regardless of the comments that are born, I am grateful for that. Moreover, I am sure that such examples we can encounter without too much search efforts (now, quickly, I remember a little girl with underdeveloped hands who gave a wonderful recital to an X-Factor contest, and the examples can continue). They follow their path in their own way and use what they have as best they can. There's a paradox here. Many of us receive a kind of "objective" education, which starts from the moment when everything becomes a kind of existential law, that of childhood with its unconditional acceptances.

In our country, in Romania of my time, many little girls wanted to become a Nadia Comaneci or many boys wanted to become a Hagi. Landmarks change over time and depending on the goals of parents/educators or children's perceptions... But obviously, and adults who want to be Napoleons, Einsteins or whatever... But anyone who tries to do things the same way as someone else will get less than the original and will need more time and more power (cases of achieving such an objective, even overtaking, are so tiny that they reinforce the "rule"). Whoever goes to the goal in his own way will be able to achieve something original.

If Einstein had tried to play football like Hagi, he wouldn't have been able to get so much amazing and in-depth knowledge of the universe, time and space, which he was able to pass on to mankind. If Hagi had tried to carve like Brâncuşi, many wonderful football moments would not have been given to the Romanians, but the world would have had a frustrated and mediocre sculptor. This law, this principle, is so beautifully rendered by Frank Sinatra's song "I do it in my way"...

So each of us already has everything necessary to overcome the problems that life poses to him, being necessary only to discover or learn to use these qualities properly. There is in some prayers a rather suggestive statement in this regard: "I have everything I need to do what I want and I have everything I want to do the right thing"... Let's be honest, after all, each of us knows very well what makes him happy and contented. The basic idea is to identify what "happiness-related stuff" we really need and what "stuff" really pleases us.

So why not live in happiness and contentment?!? Many answers are something like "No way!", "What will others say?", "I don't know how to get what I want...", "It's not for me", etc. etc. etc. So each of us knows (has at hand) what it takes to structure our lives on useful, happy and satisfying ways but does not know how to integrate this into his life correctly, honestly or other supporting landmarks. Interesting is why not think that when we are happy and satisfied we can see things much better. The main goal becomes, therefore, getting there and then the problem that may arise.

All this because there are no failures but only results. You may have said or often believed that "it was meant to be". You want to know how I came to this idea? Suppose you've always had bad grades in physics and chemistry (or any other object of study). It was bad. That's why you couldn't study medicine the way your parents would have liked it, and you became an IT-ist, which you always thought was amazing. It was an extraordinarily good thing for you. In retrospect, you've structured all your studies successfully, so that you become who you are. It's crazy?!? yes, if life evolves like this...

Maybe you're still angry today and you feel inferior because then, once, you had those bad grades. In this case, the time has come to take this burden off your shoulders, to straighten your back, on which a much smaller burden will press, to felicitate yourself and to be grateful. In the long run you did exactly what was good for you. Even if it were just this and you deserve to be commended!!! If you are not satisfied with your activities, think carefully if the reason is that they do not adequately meet your needs, if you consider that the values of others are higher than those in which you believe, or if these undesirable results have spared you or will spare you in the future something much more unpleasant.

If in the current context of your life your achievements are not recognized or appreciated, consider if there are other life situations that require precisely such actions. Whether the outcome of an action is valued as "success" or "failure" depends on the context in which it is viewed. It all makes sense...

I didn't get to medicine but I just finished my post-secondary as an AMG so as not to get to the "dogmatization" characteristic of doctors, then I didn't become a lawyer but the completion of the "right" helped me with logic, legislation and whatever it was, nor an economist, but the end of the "economic" helped me to structure things much better, to achieve the essence of "global", even after my master's degree in economics but... IT-ist, so that I can reach a kind of "global" that prompted the emergence of this blog and many, many other "stuff"... They all have their purpose...

And, related to the little debate above, there is a small and useful consideration: behind every problematic attitude there is a good intention (in a slightly more religious expression: The road to hell is paved with good intentions)... Some people who smoke and want to get rid of this vice treat/attack the part of them that is responsible for it and that "brings" it to the cigarette as an enemy. According to the experience I've gained, things are very different. Certainly, in the long run, smoking is harmful. In the short term, however, it can help to reduce stress, reduce discomfort, link and cultivate social contacts (we have all been able to observe groups of smokers in various breaks from work, seminars, etc.), get extra breaks and many, many more.

The part of the unconscious responsible for smoking has no bad intentions. According to many therapists, in the long run, they would be happy to choose other healthier ways to meet the same needs, if they worked at least as well, would be just as easy to obtain and would be at least as simple. Any "consideration" depends on the premise that any attitude, no matter how irrational it may seem, is, in fact, (especially from the perspective of those who act in this way) the most rational thing it can do to overcome the difficulties of life (or something else) in the short term. Acceptance of this consideration will make the subconscious much more cooperative in order to solve the existing problem than when it is treated as an enemy. What you love is your friend, what you hate, what you fear and what you despise will be your enemy... Always!

Here we have managed to have some considerations regarding the identification of conflicts. So, regardless of the existing conflicts, we still have a solution based on their possible division, both in analysis and identification and in resolution. That's because problems taste better when the portions are small. Any problem can be solved when the steps leading to the solution are small enough. A pie cannot be eaten in a single sip (perhaps not from a single meal). You'll barely taste it and you'll surely be in the business. If you do it normally, swallow it, you'll savor the taste and "fix" the pie.

That's exactly what happens to a lot of people when it comes to their day-to-day problems. If they fail to overcome a major problem on the first attempt and very quickly, they often come to the conclusion that they will not be able to do it at all. As with the pie, if you eat one or two pieces every day, in a few days you'll finish it easy and enjoy it. Try to apply the same strategy in case of conflict discovery, in case of overcoming problems you have, as in case of closing conflicts. Don't do it all at once, but try to divide what you have to do in small steps, so that your efforts are minimal and overcoming the problems/obstacles that arise on your path will be easy and enjoyable. The Taoist philosophy, from which I learned many important things, says about this "Even the longest journey begins with the first step..."...

That's enough for today! it can be seen that we have already moved on to the conflict resolution part, in the idea of suggesting everything that follows in the determinisms of practices and control... We'll go on for a couple more days, but... Everything has its purpose...

Love, Gratitude and Understanding (Namaste)!!!