STUDY - Technical - New Dacian's Medicine
Human's Life - The Childhood (4)
Translation Draft
The following "wound" (in
chronological order, that of their possible occurrence) is
abandonment (abandonment wound) and its manifestation is
"addict's mask"...
To abandon someone is to leave them, to put them aside, not to want to take care of them. The wound experienced in the case of abandonment is from the beginning at the level of "to have" and "to do". This wound occurs significantly in the case of the following situations: if the child's mother is suddenly very busy with another newborn, if the parents work every day and have very little time for him, when he is taken to the hospital and left there, when the parents leave them in the care of someone else, during the holidays, even if that person is the grandmother , if his mother is always sick and the father is too busy or absent to take care of him, etc. (similar).
All of this is directly related to what the child thinks, if he is aware that he has behaved badly, even in the smallest detail, and everything appears as a penalty for his behavior, as a direct or indirect effect on what he represents...
Characteristic of the abandonment wound is that it is lived in direct relationship with the parent of the opposite sex. Also, very frequently, a person suffering from abandonment also suffers from rejection (here the landmark being the same-sex parent). A child can experience in which to feel abandoned by the same-sex parent, but in reality what he feels about the relationship with that parent is the wound of rejection.
All this because the same-sex parent, who does not deal with him, acts like this because he rejects himself, and the child feels this very deeply. When a parent rejects himself and has a child of the same sex as himself, it is normal and human for him to reject that child, even unconscious, because the child reminds him of himself, at every moment.
Those who suffer from abandonment do not feel sufficiently nourished at the affective level (but also lack of physical nourishment can also cause an abandonment wound, which usually occurs before the age of two years). The mask that will be created to hide this wound is that of the addict.
This mask is characterized by a toneless, elongated, thin body that is lost (thus indicating an important abandonment wound). The muscular apparatus is underdeveloped and seems unable to sustain the right body, as if it needed a support (the body expressing exactly what is happening inside someone).
The addict being a character who thinks that he can't achieve anything on his own and that he needs someone to help him, his body illustrates this need for support. Big, sad eyes often indicate an abandonment wound, being eyes that seem to attract the other through the gaze. The legs are thin, often the arms give the feeling that they are too long and that they hang along the body... being the kind of person who doesn't seem to know what to do with his arms.
Another characteristic of the addict's body is that it seems placed too low (lower than normal) and can often have curved backs, as if the spine could not fully support it. In addition, certain parts of the body can be soft, left, for example shoulders, breasts, buttocks, cheeks, belly, scrotum... The density of the above marks depends on the intensity of the wound.
If you've been paying attention to previous posts, you've been able to see the similarities between fugitive and addict. The difference that clearly and undoubtedly delimits them is the tone (the addict has a posture that seems to collapse even if he has more "meat" than the fugitive).
When an individual has both wounds, there is little more differentiation than in the sense of identifying the wound with the largest "weight". In addition, the addict is noted an activity with ups and downs, a certain period it is happy and everything goes well and, suddenly, he feels unhappy and sad (especially out of fear of loneliness that does not really manifest itself to the fugitive).
The addict is the most likely individual to become a victim, with a chance that one or both of them will also be victims. Here the term victim must be interpreted as the person who creates all kinds of difficulties in life, especially health problems to attract attention. This meets the needs of the addict, who thinks he never has enough.
And when he wants to attract attention by various means, he actually tries to feel important enough to get help, believing that if he fails to attract the other's attention, he won't be able to count on that person. The dependent child needs to feel that if he stumbles, he'll count on someone to get him back on his feet.
He's also a person who dramatizes things a lot, the slightest incident can take on huge proportions... moreover, the addict experiences events as difficulties, often problems having a gift role, that of capturing the attention of others, which allows him not to feel abandoned.
Being abandoned is a little harder to live for than the problems he attracts (only an addict can truly understand this). But the more someone plays the victim, the more important his abandonment wound becomes.
A small paradox of the addict is represented by the "game of the savior", out of his desire to receive in a subtle and sure way the attention he needs. All these "helpful" things are almost always done out of the desire to receive thanks, giving the feeling of importance... Well, this way of behavior, but most of the time it's going to cause problems, because the addict gets very quickly to carry back more responsibilities that don't belong to him.
So the form of help that the addict most needs is the support of others. Whether or not he has difficulty making decisions on his own, the addict usually asks for the opinion or consent of others before making a decision. He needs to feel supported, supported in the decisions he takes.
Because of this, this type of person can be regarded as someone who has difficulty making a decision, in reality, does not decide or doubts that decision except that he does not feel supported by anyone else. His expectations of others depend on what they can do to help him... And all because when sustained it feels loved and rewarded for it (helped).
The addict may seem lazy because he doesn't like to do activities or physical work alone, needing someone's presence to support such activities. When he does something for someone else, he will do it hoping to gain affection in return, and when he receives it, he will do everything in his power to make that situation last as long as possible. But the flip side is that any end to a pleasant situation is also experienced as an abandonment...
For the most part, the addict is a victim who tends, especially in the case of women, to have a thin, easily audible voice, and to ask many questions. This is seen when he asks for someone's help, when he finds it difficult to accept a refusal and tends to insist (the more he suffers when he receives a refusal, the more he will be prepared to use all means to get what he wants, that is to say to manipulate, to upset, to blackmail , etc.).
The addict often asks for advice because he doesn't think he can succeed on his own, but that doesn't mean he'll listen to the suggestions he's received, but he'll still be the one who's going to do what he wants, because what he was looking for was nothing but attention/support.
The greatest fear of the addict is of loneliness, who is convinced that he is unable to manage it. That's why he clings to anyone he can and does anything to get their attention, being prepared for any kind of maneuvers to be loved, not to be left behind. He often conflicts with himself, because, on the one hand, he demands a lot of attention, and on the other, he is afraid that if he asks too much he will end up bothering the other and the latter might leave him.
For these reasons the addict is quite able to endure many unpleasant things, often coming to the conclusion that he likes suffering, when he tolerates certain situations, although he does not recognize this.
Thus, it is the dependent person who has the greatest capacity not to see problems in the couple, preferring to believe that everything is going well for fear of being abandoned. This kind of person also has a difficulty in leaving a place or giving up a situation, even if they are favorable (like them), not easily accepting the changes to which he has just adapted, which he has become dependent on...
But it's all because the addict can't recognize his wound, because doing so risks reliving the suffering that that wound represents.
The addict is also afraid of any form of authority because he feels that he cannot control the need for support, that an authoritarian person does not have time for care as long as he "deals" with giving orders indifferent and cold.
The most intense emotion experienced by an addict is sadness. He feels it in the depths of his being, without understanding it or being able to tell where it comes from. The elements on which this feeling depends make her always in the presence of others as long as such feelings are not inducted.
The degree of anxiety determines the degree of suffering of the addict, and feeling isolated also generates a serious feeling in the sufferer, because he is afraid that what he lacks will be denied or will not be available when he wants it.
What lies behind the feeling of isolation is that the sufferer unconsciously closes in front of the thing or the person he wants so much beside him, does not open up to receive that thing or that person for fear of not being able to cope. At the same time, he is afraid of the emotions that this attention he receives could make him live.
Their behavior is easily distinguished among the many people who self-sabotage their own happiness, as soon as a relationship becomes more intense, they make it so as to set a term of duration.
Offf, we'll talk about the addict tomorrow...
To abandon someone is to leave them, to put them aside, not to want to take care of them. The wound experienced in the case of abandonment is from the beginning at the level of "to have" and "to do". This wound occurs significantly in the case of the following situations: if the child's mother is suddenly very busy with another newborn, if the parents work every day and have very little time for him, when he is taken to the hospital and left there, when the parents leave them in the care of someone else, during the holidays, even if that person is the grandmother , if his mother is always sick and the father is too busy or absent to take care of him, etc. (similar).
All of this is directly related to what the child thinks, if he is aware that he has behaved badly, even in the smallest detail, and everything appears as a penalty for his behavior, as a direct or indirect effect on what he represents...
Characteristic of the abandonment wound is that it is lived in direct relationship with the parent of the opposite sex. Also, very frequently, a person suffering from abandonment also suffers from rejection (here the landmark being the same-sex parent). A child can experience in which to feel abandoned by the same-sex parent, but in reality what he feels about the relationship with that parent is the wound of rejection.
All this because the same-sex parent, who does not deal with him, acts like this because he rejects himself, and the child feels this very deeply. When a parent rejects himself and has a child of the same sex as himself, it is normal and human for him to reject that child, even unconscious, because the child reminds him of himself, at every moment.
Those who suffer from abandonment do not feel sufficiently nourished at the affective level (but also lack of physical nourishment can also cause an abandonment wound, which usually occurs before the age of two years). The mask that will be created to hide this wound is that of the addict.
This mask is characterized by a toneless, elongated, thin body that is lost (thus indicating an important abandonment wound). The muscular apparatus is underdeveloped and seems unable to sustain the right body, as if it needed a support (the body expressing exactly what is happening inside someone).
The addict being a character who thinks that he can't achieve anything on his own and that he needs someone to help him, his body illustrates this need for support. Big, sad eyes often indicate an abandonment wound, being eyes that seem to attract the other through the gaze. The legs are thin, often the arms give the feeling that they are too long and that they hang along the body... being the kind of person who doesn't seem to know what to do with his arms.
Another characteristic of the addict's body is that it seems placed too low (lower than normal) and can often have curved backs, as if the spine could not fully support it. In addition, certain parts of the body can be soft, left, for example shoulders, breasts, buttocks, cheeks, belly, scrotum... The density of the above marks depends on the intensity of the wound.
If you've been paying attention to previous posts, you've been able to see the similarities between fugitive and addict. The difference that clearly and undoubtedly delimits them is the tone (the addict has a posture that seems to collapse even if he has more "meat" than the fugitive).
When an individual has both wounds, there is little more differentiation than in the sense of identifying the wound with the largest "weight". In addition, the addict is noted an activity with ups and downs, a certain period it is happy and everything goes well and, suddenly, he feels unhappy and sad (especially out of fear of loneliness that does not really manifest itself to the fugitive).
The addict is the most likely individual to become a victim, with a chance that one or both of them will also be victims. Here the term victim must be interpreted as the person who creates all kinds of difficulties in life, especially health problems to attract attention. This meets the needs of the addict, who thinks he never has enough.
And when he wants to attract attention by various means, he actually tries to feel important enough to get help, believing that if he fails to attract the other's attention, he won't be able to count on that person. The dependent child needs to feel that if he stumbles, he'll count on someone to get him back on his feet.
He's also a person who dramatizes things a lot, the slightest incident can take on huge proportions... moreover, the addict experiences events as difficulties, often problems having a gift role, that of capturing the attention of others, which allows him not to feel abandoned.
Being abandoned is a little harder to live for than the problems he attracts (only an addict can truly understand this). But the more someone plays the victim, the more important his abandonment wound becomes.
A small paradox of the addict is represented by the "game of the savior", out of his desire to receive in a subtle and sure way the attention he needs. All these "helpful" things are almost always done out of the desire to receive thanks, giving the feeling of importance... Well, this way of behavior, but most of the time it's going to cause problems, because the addict gets very quickly to carry back more responsibilities that don't belong to him.
So the form of help that the addict most needs is the support of others. Whether or not he has difficulty making decisions on his own, the addict usually asks for the opinion or consent of others before making a decision. He needs to feel supported, supported in the decisions he takes.
Because of this, this type of person can be regarded as someone who has difficulty making a decision, in reality, does not decide or doubts that decision except that he does not feel supported by anyone else. His expectations of others depend on what they can do to help him... And all because when sustained it feels loved and rewarded for it (helped).
The addict may seem lazy because he doesn't like to do activities or physical work alone, needing someone's presence to support such activities. When he does something for someone else, he will do it hoping to gain affection in return, and when he receives it, he will do everything in his power to make that situation last as long as possible. But the flip side is that any end to a pleasant situation is also experienced as an abandonment...
For the most part, the addict is a victim who tends, especially in the case of women, to have a thin, easily audible voice, and to ask many questions. This is seen when he asks for someone's help, when he finds it difficult to accept a refusal and tends to insist (the more he suffers when he receives a refusal, the more he will be prepared to use all means to get what he wants, that is to say to manipulate, to upset, to blackmail , etc.).
The addict often asks for advice because he doesn't think he can succeed on his own, but that doesn't mean he'll listen to the suggestions he's received, but he'll still be the one who's going to do what he wants, because what he was looking for was nothing but attention/support.
The greatest fear of the addict is of loneliness, who is convinced that he is unable to manage it. That's why he clings to anyone he can and does anything to get their attention, being prepared for any kind of maneuvers to be loved, not to be left behind. He often conflicts with himself, because, on the one hand, he demands a lot of attention, and on the other, he is afraid that if he asks too much he will end up bothering the other and the latter might leave him.
For these reasons the addict is quite able to endure many unpleasant things, often coming to the conclusion that he likes suffering, when he tolerates certain situations, although he does not recognize this.
Thus, it is the dependent person who has the greatest capacity not to see problems in the couple, preferring to believe that everything is going well for fear of being abandoned. This kind of person also has a difficulty in leaving a place or giving up a situation, even if they are favorable (like them), not easily accepting the changes to which he has just adapted, which he has become dependent on...
But it's all because the addict can't recognize his wound, because doing so risks reliving the suffering that that wound represents.
The addict is also afraid of any form of authority because he feels that he cannot control the need for support, that an authoritarian person does not have time for care as long as he "deals" with giving orders indifferent and cold.
The most intense emotion experienced by an addict is sadness. He feels it in the depths of his being, without understanding it or being able to tell where it comes from. The elements on which this feeling depends make her always in the presence of others as long as such feelings are not inducted.
The degree of anxiety determines the degree of suffering of the addict, and feeling isolated also generates a serious feeling in the sufferer, because he is afraid that what he lacks will be denied or will not be available when he wants it.
What lies behind the feeling of isolation is that the sufferer unconsciously closes in front of the thing or the person he wants so much beside him, does not open up to receive that thing or that person for fear of not being able to cope. At the same time, he is afraid of the emotions that this attention he receives could make him live.
Their behavior is easily distinguished among the many people who self-sabotage their own happiness, as soon as a relationship becomes more intense, they make it so as to set a term of duration.
Offf, we'll talk about the addict tomorrow...
The blizzard is over!
Nothing can stop the arrival of spring in your souls...
Dorin, Merticaru