STUDY - Technical - New Dacian's Medicine
Human's Life - The Childhood (6)
Translation Draft
I'm about to realize now
(and tomorrow) the two posts about the wound of humiliation with
what it attracts, the mask of the masochist...
In our considerations, humiliation is directly the result of the action of feeling humiliated or insulting someone else in an excessive way, the synonyms of this term being offense, shame, offense, harm, vexation, etc. The child who suffers a wound of humiliation will create a mask of masochist, masochism being the behavior of a person who finds pleasure and even satisfaction in suffering.
Such an individuality will seek pain and humiliation, usually unconsciously, accepting behaviors that harm or punish them before someone else does so. And in order to understand correctly what follows it is necessary to distinguish between shame and culpability. We feel guilty when we judge as evil something we did or didn't do.
We are ashamed when we think we were not fair in what we did (or did not) at some point. In addition, it is good to point out that the opposite of shame is pride, whereas culpability is innocence. When a person is not proud of himself, he is ashamed, accuses himself and has a tendency to hide.
This wound, even if it can be "dragged" from previous statuses (remember that we are born being aware of the wounds we need to solve, even if after birth we are no longer aware of this under the "protection" of the ego), begins to be felt or activates at the age between one and three years (when the functions of the physical body begin to activate (when the functions of the physical body begin to activate , a period during which a normal child learns to eat alone, to be clean, to listen and to understand what others are saying, etc.).
The soul that returns to solve this wound will attract two parents who will humiliate or humiliate him, the wound of humiliation being related especially to the physical world, that of "having" and "doing" (with the peculiarity that it may happen that such a person will do his best to become "to be" as others would like to be , but in fact, what he does or does not do, what he has or does not have will trigger the wound of abandonment).
The "awakening" of the wound occurs when the child feels that one of the parents is ashamed of him or is afraid that the parent will be ashamed of him if he is dirty or if he does something stupid (especially in public or in front of the family), when he is ill-dressed, etc. Whatever the situation that makes the child feel humiliated, offended, compared, harmed or ashamed, causes the wound to be activated or amplified.
Attention, even being very small, the baby, the child, can feel the disgust of his parents and can feel humiliated and ashamed (for example, even when he hears a discussion between the parents). Once it increases and its perceptions increase, "favorable" elements such as the level of sexuality (important in activating the humiliation wound) begin to appear.
An example of this is the situation where the child surprises one of the parents naked and perceives that the parent feels embarrassed and wants to hide, will learn so that he must be ashamed of his body.
This wound can be experienced at different levels with direct "roots" from childhood. The child may feel uncomfortable if he or she feels that he or she is being controlled too much by a parent, if he or she thinks that he or she has no freedom to act or move as he or she wishes on the physical level.
And, in the case of this wound, it is mainly lived in relation to the mother (a situation due to the fact that the father is less involved in direct relations with the young child), the main relationships that favor its activation or emphasis being the direct involvement of the mother in the field of sexuality, cleanliness, relationship with the partner and the like, as well as involvement in the processes of learning, listening and speech.
Only if the father is actively involved, comparable to the mother's involvement in these processes, does the wound gain "dependence" on both parents. Since the masochist, male or female, is often a merging with his own mother, he will do anything not to shame her, the mother having an important role in his life, albeit unconsciously and involuntarily.
The influence of the mother will be alleviated only when the wound of humiliation is about to heal, the mother being perceived, in his case, as a burden hard to bear, a situation that has continuity even after her death (even if she is ashamed to admit it, the masochist usually feels liberated from the death of his mother, because until then he had freedom restricted).
It is very important to realize that your mother or father is living a wound of humiliation in your relationship with the same-sex parent as you. Feeling compassion for the parent who suffers the same wound will make it easier for you to feel compassion for yourself and especially for your child.
Detailing, a person can experience an experience of shame or humiliation without the wound of humiliation being activated. On the other hand, a masochistic person can experience a situation of rejection and feel humiliated rather than rejected. And, similar situations can be encountered in any individual but the person who has the wound of humiliation is the one who is ashamed most often.
Physically, the masochist, given that he often feels dirty, heartless (like a piglet) or less than the others, will develop a fat body, which he is often ashamed of. A body fat differs from a body full of muscles, an individual can have an excess of 20 kilos above the "normal" weight and not be fat but only strong.
For this reason, the masochist will have a relatively rounded (or round) body that looks as wide as it is long, depending on the excess fat. This is why it is difficult to identify the mask of the masochist in people who manage to control their weight well, but the "creepy signs" can be represented by people who gain weight quickly and round when they "get out" of food.
If only one part of the body is fat or round (belly, buttocks, breasts, etc.) this indicates a lower humiliation wound. Can be associated with the masochist and short waist, thick and bulging neck, tension in the neck, jaw and pelvic area. He often has a round face and eyes wide open and innocent like those of a child.
Behaviorally, one of the characteristics of the masochist is that he doesn't like to rush. For him it is hard to operate at a fast pace when necessary and is ashamed when he fails to be as fast as others (being required to learn to move at his own speed).
The masochist also wants to appear strong and no longer be controlled, becoming very efficient and having the ability to take many responsibilities on him. That's why he creates a strong back so he can carry a lot with him.
For example, the masochist has the talent to place himself in situations where he has to take care of another person. And every time the masochist wants or seems to want to do everything for others, he really wants to create constraints and obligations. So he forgets about himself more and more and the more he takes on responsibilities, the more weight he gain.
And while he's dealing with others, he thinks they won't be ashamed of him, but he often feels humiliated by being abused by him. Besides, he rarely feels recognized for everything he does, especially when he considers himself devoted to something.
But the masochist doesn't realize that when he does everything for others, he actually humiliates them, making them feel that without him, they can't achieve anything. It is often the case that this kind of person makes sure that the rest of the family or friends know clearly that a particular person (or group of people) cannot do anything without their help, and this will do it even in front of the person they are helping (the latter then feeling very humiliated). So for the masochist it is very important to understand that he is not allowed to occupy so much space in the lives of those close to him.
Other masochistic "details"... The first would be that it seems very controlled, but this control is motivated mostly by the fear of not being ashamed of his loved ones or of himself. Then he finds it very difficult to express his true needs and what he really feels, because from a very young age he does not dare to talk about it for fear of being ashamed or of making someone else feel offended.
The parents of such a child frequently tell him that what happens in their family is none of the concerns of those outside and that they don't have to talk about it, that they have to keep everything to themselves, especially in situations they are ashamed of.
A weakness of the masochist is that he is usually hypersensitive, the smallest "thing" can touch him, affect him strongly. As a result, he does everything to avoid hurting others, as soon as someone, especially the ones he loves, feels unhappy, thinks he's responsible. He thinks he should have (or shouldn't) say or do something.
He doesn't understand that, being so much connected to what others are feeling, he no longer listens to his own needs, the masochist being the one who listens to his least needs, although sometimes he is very aware of what he wants. Thus, he causes suffering by disobeying them, which contributes to the feeding of the wound of humiliation and his masochistic mask...
Maybe that's where his effort to do everything to be useful comes from, for him this being a way to hide his wound and convince himself that he doesn't suffer from humiliation...
I think that's enough for today, isn't it?
In our considerations, humiliation is directly the result of the action of feeling humiliated or insulting someone else in an excessive way, the synonyms of this term being offense, shame, offense, harm, vexation, etc. The child who suffers a wound of humiliation will create a mask of masochist, masochism being the behavior of a person who finds pleasure and even satisfaction in suffering.
Such an individuality will seek pain and humiliation, usually unconsciously, accepting behaviors that harm or punish them before someone else does so. And in order to understand correctly what follows it is necessary to distinguish between shame and culpability. We feel guilty when we judge as evil something we did or didn't do.
We are ashamed when we think we were not fair in what we did (or did not) at some point. In addition, it is good to point out that the opposite of shame is pride, whereas culpability is innocence. When a person is not proud of himself, he is ashamed, accuses himself and has a tendency to hide.
This wound, even if it can be "dragged" from previous statuses (remember that we are born being aware of the wounds we need to solve, even if after birth we are no longer aware of this under the "protection" of the ego), begins to be felt or activates at the age between one and three years (when the functions of the physical body begin to activate (when the functions of the physical body begin to activate , a period during which a normal child learns to eat alone, to be clean, to listen and to understand what others are saying, etc.).
The soul that returns to solve this wound will attract two parents who will humiliate or humiliate him, the wound of humiliation being related especially to the physical world, that of "having" and "doing" (with the peculiarity that it may happen that such a person will do his best to become "to be" as others would like to be , but in fact, what he does or does not do, what he has or does not have will trigger the wound of abandonment).
The "awakening" of the wound occurs when the child feels that one of the parents is ashamed of him or is afraid that the parent will be ashamed of him if he is dirty or if he does something stupid (especially in public or in front of the family), when he is ill-dressed, etc. Whatever the situation that makes the child feel humiliated, offended, compared, harmed or ashamed, causes the wound to be activated or amplified.
Attention, even being very small, the baby, the child, can feel the disgust of his parents and can feel humiliated and ashamed (for example, even when he hears a discussion between the parents). Once it increases and its perceptions increase, "favorable" elements such as the level of sexuality (important in activating the humiliation wound) begin to appear.
An example of this is the situation where the child surprises one of the parents naked and perceives that the parent feels embarrassed and wants to hide, will learn so that he must be ashamed of his body.
This wound can be experienced at different levels with direct "roots" from childhood. The child may feel uncomfortable if he or she feels that he or she is being controlled too much by a parent, if he or she thinks that he or she has no freedom to act or move as he or she wishes on the physical level.
And, in the case of this wound, it is mainly lived in relation to the mother (a situation due to the fact that the father is less involved in direct relations with the young child), the main relationships that favor its activation or emphasis being the direct involvement of the mother in the field of sexuality, cleanliness, relationship with the partner and the like, as well as involvement in the processes of learning, listening and speech.
Only if the father is actively involved, comparable to the mother's involvement in these processes, does the wound gain "dependence" on both parents. Since the masochist, male or female, is often a merging with his own mother, he will do anything not to shame her, the mother having an important role in his life, albeit unconsciously and involuntarily.
The influence of the mother will be alleviated only when the wound of humiliation is about to heal, the mother being perceived, in his case, as a burden hard to bear, a situation that has continuity even after her death (even if she is ashamed to admit it, the masochist usually feels liberated from the death of his mother, because until then he had freedom restricted).
It is very important to realize that your mother or father is living a wound of humiliation in your relationship with the same-sex parent as you. Feeling compassion for the parent who suffers the same wound will make it easier for you to feel compassion for yourself and especially for your child.
Detailing, a person can experience an experience of shame or humiliation without the wound of humiliation being activated. On the other hand, a masochistic person can experience a situation of rejection and feel humiliated rather than rejected. And, similar situations can be encountered in any individual but the person who has the wound of humiliation is the one who is ashamed most often.
Physically, the masochist, given that he often feels dirty, heartless (like a piglet) or less than the others, will develop a fat body, which he is often ashamed of. A body fat differs from a body full of muscles, an individual can have an excess of 20 kilos above the "normal" weight and not be fat but only strong.
For this reason, the masochist will have a relatively rounded (or round) body that looks as wide as it is long, depending on the excess fat. This is why it is difficult to identify the mask of the masochist in people who manage to control their weight well, but the "creepy signs" can be represented by people who gain weight quickly and round when they "get out" of food.
If only one part of the body is fat or round (belly, buttocks, breasts, etc.) this indicates a lower humiliation wound. Can be associated with the masochist and short waist, thick and bulging neck, tension in the neck, jaw and pelvic area. He often has a round face and eyes wide open and innocent like those of a child.
Behaviorally, one of the characteristics of the masochist is that he doesn't like to rush. For him it is hard to operate at a fast pace when necessary and is ashamed when he fails to be as fast as others (being required to learn to move at his own speed).
The masochist also wants to appear strong and no longer be controlled, becoming very efficient and having the ability to take many responsibilities on him. That's why he creates a strong back so he can carry a lot with him.
For example, the masochist has the talent to place himself in situations where he has to take care of another person. And every time the masochist wants or seems to want to do everything for others, he really wants to create constraints and obligations. So he forgets about himself more and more and the more he takes on responsibilities, the more weight he gain.
And while he's dealing with others, he thinks they won't be ashamed of him, but he often feels humiliated by being abused by him. Besides, he rarely feels recognized for everything he does, especially when he considers himself devoted to something.
But the masochist doesn't realize that when he does everything for others, he actually humiliates them, making them feel that without him, they can't achieve anything. It is often the case that this kind of person makes sure that the rest of the family or friends know clearly that a particular person (or group of people) cannot do anything without their help, and this will do it even in front of the person they are helping (the latter then feeling very humiliated). So for the masochist it is very important to understand that he is not allowed to occupy so much space in the lives of those close to him.
Other masochistic "details"... The first would be that it seems very controlled, but this control is motivated mostly by the fear of not being ashamed of his loved ones or of himself. Then he finds it very difficult to express his true needs and what he really feels, because from a very young age he does not dare to talk about it for fear of being ashamed or of making someone else feel offended.
The parents of such a child frequently tell him that what happens in their family is none of the concerns of those outside and that they don't have to talk about it, that they have to keep everything to themselves, especially in situations they are ashamed of.
A weakness of the masochist is that he is usually hypersensitive, the smallest "thing" can touch him, affect him strongly. As a result, he does everything to avoid hurting others, as soon as someone, especially the ones he loves, feels unhappy, thinks he's responsible. He thinks he should have (or shouldn't) say or do something.
He doesn't understand that, being so much connected to what others are feeling, he no longer listens to his own needs, the masochist being the one who listens to his least needs, although sometimes he is very aware of what he wants. Thus, he causes suffering by disobeying them, which contributes to the feeding of the wound of humiliation and his masochistic mask...
Maybe that's where his effort to do everything to be useful comes from, for him this being a way to hide his wound and convince himself that he doesn't suffer from humiliation...
I think that's enough for today, isn't it?
A Saturday full of love,
gratitude and... what else is out there! And, "Happy Birthday,"
my middle brother!
Dorin, Merticaru