STUDY - Technical - New Dacian's Medicine
Human's Life - Adolescence (4)
Translation Draft
Today it's the turn of the
masochist and the wound of humiliation...
From the very beginning it is good to point out that everything I presented at the masochist's childhood remains valid for most of the individual's life (until the wound is closed, without reactivating it) and, most of the time (in case of non-resolution of wounds) until the end of biological life and the transfer of the soul to a new dimension (existence, reincarnation).
Adolescence is the most dangerous age for the masochistic person, at the level of sexuality there is an important potential in activating or deepening the wound of humiliation. For example, parents or other close friends may recount certain sexually tinged incidents in our masochist's childhood, snowing perceptions of humiliation that are hard to detect (in addition to the powerful shame experienced by their exposure).
And even if that doesn't happen, many masochists will tell about these "forbidden" things (for a number of reasons), as if they were always looking for situations to relive humiliation. So, the teenager who barely enters the mysteries of sexual life has the greatest risk of feeling humiliated and ashamed of his own behavior, often coming to find pleasure and satisfaction from this kind of suffering and, of course, having deviant behavior without even perceiving it.
Either way, at the level of sexuality he usually has difficulties mainly because of feelings of shame or fears of shame. Taking into account all the taboos circulated in sex education, it is normal for a person who is easily ashamed to be influenced by the notions of sin, infamy, misery, etc. related to sexuality.
And even though, nowadays, sexuality is a much more open area than before there is no need to be under any illusions. This shame of sexuality, passed down from generation to generation, will only be solved when the wound of humiliation is healed.
Thus, a young masochist has a tendency to control his sexuality, especially in order not to give parents reasons to be ashamed of it. He also feels controlled at the level of sexuality and, the more afraid he is, the more humiliating and embarrassing he will attract situations, with his parents or friends, related to the sexual level or, worse, the more he will attract situations of sexual harassment and abuse (and that person will be so ashamed that he will not dare to talk to anyone about it , deepening the shame).
For example, when a girl creates solid protection, in the form of excess weight, around the hips, buttocks or womb, i.e. around the sexual area of the body, we can assume that she has a fear of sexuality, caused by the abuse experienced.
It is not surprising to see so many adolescents who, when sexual desires begin to manifest themselves, gain weight, this becoming for them a means of not being attractive, not being harassed and unconsciously depriving themselves of sexual pleasure.
But, nevertheless, masochistic people are not only sensual, but also sexual. They would make love often if they were able to be themselves, if they had time to recognize their true needs in the field of sexuality (as well as in other aspects).
Moreover, in their opinion it is inconceivable to disturb the other for their own pleasure. The above, however, creates more problems for boys who generally do not have the sex life they would like. Whether they are too young when it comes to sex, or they are obsessed and looking everywhere (which can cause difficulty with erection or even suffer from premature ejaculation).
The masochist finds it difficult to express his true needs and what he really feels, for fear of being ashamed or of making someone else feel offended. This problem, combined with being a hypersensitive individual, is a burden that is hard to bear.
As a result, he'll do anything not to hurt others. As soon as someone, especially the ones he loves, feels unhappy, thinks he's responsible, thinks he should or shouldn't have said or done something. He doesn't understand that, being so much connected to what others feel, he no longer listens to his own needs, he is one of those who listens to his least needs, although he is often aware of what he wants.
Thus he causes suffering by disobeying them, which contributes to the feeding of the wound of humiliation and his mask of masochist. do anything to be useful and for him this is a way to hide his wound and convince himself that he does not suffer from humiliation.
Because of the above, the masochist will feel powerless in front of those he loves and who are close to him. And when he is blamed for something (the reaction he draws against), he gets stuck, unable to defend himself.
He even blames himself for these reactions, and he can suffer so much that he leaves that place, away from that person, out of that group. Only later will he try to justify himself, to explain himself in order to reconcile things, considering himself guilty, in an effort to reconcile things even out of duty if not out of conviction.
This is the motivation that the masochist is often known for his ability to make others laugh, laughing at himself. He is very expressive when he tells something and finds ways to make the story funny, assuming the role of making them laugh (even if it is an unconscious way of humiliating himself).
Thus, no one will be able to guess that the fear of being ashamed is perhaps hidden behind the words that provoke laughter (being a specialist in devaluing oneself). In contrast, the slightest criticism of him makes him feel humiliated and insignificant.
In the case of this individual, there is no longer any talk of "hard" to attract efforts to compensate for physical deprivation. Being relatively pleasant individuals, young-looking sportsmen and young "shaped" young people, they don't really have to waste their time with the corrective efforts of their physique.
Besides, they don't really kill themselves with the efforts of being conservative individuals, often giving the impression of lazy or, at least, slow, whereas in reality the outward appearance is an important thing for them. This contributes to self-esteem and, when he respects himself and feels that no one wants to put sticks in his head, he becomes enthusiastic and lives his life to the fullest. At times like this, it falls into excess, into "too much."
That's how he ends up being very afraid to end up in these situations, to feel that he has no limits, because he is convinced that he will do things that he is ashamed of, whether they are sexually or socially, etc.
Since the masochist wants to appear strong and not controlled, he becomes very efficient and takes a lot of responsibility on himself. In addition, he has the talent to place himself in situations where he has to take care of another person, forgetting about himself more and more.
But every time the masochist seems to want to do everything for others, he really wants to create constraints and obligations. While dealing with others he thinks they won't be ashamed of him, but he often feels humiliated by being abused by him.
Moreover, he rarely feels recognized for everything he does, often considering himself devoted to the action, the group, etc. But then he doesn't realize that by doing everything for others he humiliates them, making them feel that without him they can't achieve anything. it even happens that this kind of person to make sure that the rest of the family and friends know clearly that a certain person can not do anything without their help, and this will do it right in front of the person he is helping (the latter often feeling humiliated by this gesture).
In contrast, the person suffering from humiliation often tends to blame himself for everything and even to take on the guilt of others (taking responsibility for something that does not belong to him and to blame himself for it). He always forgets that others can never make us feel guilty, because culpability comes only from ourselves.
And yet the masochist's greatest fear is freedom, convinced that he would not know what to do with it if he were free. So that, unconsciously, he manages not to be free, and he is the one who decides these things. believes that by making the choices alone, it will no longer be controlled by others, but often decisions bring the opposite result, and more constraints and obligations.
Or, in the conditions of adolescence and "gang euphoria", specific to this period, these behaviors are not among the most beneficial. especially since he's in some kind of self-trap, which makes a masochist to free himself on a certain plane, will restrict him on other levels.
Moreover, it creates a lot of situations in everyday life that force him to do certain things that do not meet his own needs. We put with all this and its characteristic to punish himself, believing that he punishes the other and here is a Molotov cocktail ready to be used (the masochist even has the talent to punish himself before anyone else does it - it is as if he wants to give his first blow and prepare in such a way that the blows of the other will make him less evil).
Also related to the danger of the gang, the masochistic teenager frequently finds himself as an intermediary between people, serving as a buffer between them. makes him a lawyer in all sorts of situations.
Remember, the more we feed a fear, the faster it will materialize! The stronger the wound of humiliation in a person, the more situations that will attract that person will be humiliated by someone else.
Just as important is remember that our ego is doing everything possible so that we don't see our wounds, because on an unconscious level we assigned it this mission. We are so afraid to relive the pain associated with each wound that we hesitate by all means that we have to recognize that if we experience a situation of humiliation, this is because we humiliate ourselves.
Those who humiliate us appear in our lives to show us how much we humiliate ourselves. And what is harder is to forgive ourselves because we don't usually realize that we are resentful of ourselves.
And, spiritual laws say that as long as a person has not experienced in love, he will have to return to earth to relive the same experience, coming back having the same souls but with different roles. All this to give us a chance to definitively solve what we have failed to regulate in our previous lives.
And finally, which I will "promote" repetitively, sadistically, whenever I think it is necessary, I will give you a simple quote from Victor Frankl: "Do not aim for success, for the more you want it and the more you make it a goal, the more you will miss it! For success, such happiness, cannot be traced. He must follow, and even so, as an unintentional side effect, from that dedication of man to a cause greater than himself or as a byproduct of self-giving to another person.
Happiness or success must come by itself, you must let them occur by not taking care of them. You must listen to what your conscience tells you to do and carry out that thing as best you can. Then you will experience the moments when success or happiness will follow you precisely because you have forgotten to think about them!!!" (either this and long-term, I repeat, in the long term).
From the very beginning it is good to point out that everything I presented at the masochist's childhood remains valid for most of the individual's life (until the wound is closed, without reactivating it) and, most of the time (in case of non-resolution of wounds) until the end of biological life and the transfer of the soul to a new dimension (existence, reincarnation).
Adolescence is the most dangerous age for the masochistic person, at the level of sexuality there is an important potential in activating or deepening the wound of humiliation. For example, parents or other close friends may recount certain sexually tinged incidents in our masochist's childhood, snowing perceptions of humiliation that are hard to detect (in addition to the powerful shame experienced by their exposure).
And even if that doesn't happen, many masochists will tell about these "forbidden" things (for a number of reasons), as if they were always looking for situations to relive humiliation. So, the teenager who barely enters the mysteries of sexual life has the greatest risk of feeling humiliated and ashamed of his own behavior, often coming to find pleasure and satisfaction from this kind of suffering and, of course, having deviant behavior without even perceiving it.
Either way, at the level of sexuality he usually has difficulties mainly because of feelings of shame or fears of shame. Taking into account all the taboos circulated in sex education, it is normal for a person who is easily ashamed to be influenced by the notions of sin, infamy, misery, etc. related to sexuality.
And even though, nowadays, sexuality is a much more open area than before there is no need to be under any illusions. This shame of sexuality, passed down from generation to generation, will only be solved when the wound of humiliation is healed.
Thus, a young masochist has a tendency to control his sexuality, especially in order not to give parents reasons to be ashamed of it. He also feels controlled at the level of sexuality and, the more afraid he is, the more humiliating and embarrassing he will attract situations, with his parents or friends, related to the sexual level or, worse, the more he will attract situations of sexual harassment and abuse (and that person will be so ashamed that he will not dare to talk to anyone about it , deepening the shame).
For example, when a girl creates solid protection, in the form of excess weight, around the hips, buttocks or womb, i.e. around the sexual area of the body, we can assume that she has a fear of sexuality, caused by the abuse experienced.
It is not surprising to see so many adolescents who, when sexual desires begin to manifest themselves, gain weight, this becoming for them a means of not being attractive, not being harassed and unconsciously depriving themselves of sexual pleasure.
But, nevertheless, masochistic people are not only sensual, but also sexual. They would make love often if they were able to be themselves, if they had time to recognize their true needs in the field of sexuality (as well as in other aspects).
Moreover, in their opinion it is inconceivable to disturb the other for their own pleasure. The above, however, creates more problems for boys who generally do not have the sex life they would like. Whether they are too young when it comes to sex, or they are obsessed and looking everywhere (which can cause difficulty with erection or even suffer from premature ejaculation).
The masochist finds it difficult to express his true needs and what he really feels, for fear of being ashamed or of making someone else feel offended. This problem, combined with being a hypersensitive individual, is a burden that is hard to bear.
As a result, he'll do anything not to hurt others. As soon as someone, especially the ones he loves, feels unhappy, thinks he's responsible, thinks he should or shouldn't have said or done something. He doesn't understand that, being so much connected to what others feel, he no longer listens to his own needs, he is one of those who listens to his least needs, although he is often aware of what he wants.
Thus he causes suffering by disobeying them, which contributes to the feeding of the wound of humiliation and his mask of masochist. do anything to be useful and for him this is a way to hide his wound and convince himself that he does not suffer from humiliation.
Because of the above, the masochist will feel powerless in front of those he loves and who are close to him. And when he is blamed for something (the reaction he draws against), he gets stuck, unable to defend himself.
He even blames himself for these reactions, and he can suffer so much that he leaves that place, away from that person, out of that group. Only later will he try to justify himself, to explain himself in order to reconcile things, considering himself guilty, in an effort to reconcile things even out of duty if not out of conviction.
This is the motivation that the masochist is often known for his ability to make others laugh, laughing at himself. He is very expressive when he tells something and finds ways to make the story funny, assuming the role of making them laugh (even if it is an unconscious way of humiliating himself).
Thus, no one will be able to guess that the fear of being ashamed is perhaps hidden behind the words that provoke laughter (being a specialist in devaluing oneself). In contrast, the slightest criticism of him makes him feel humiliated and insignificant.
In the case of this individual, there is no longer any talk of "hard" to attract efforts to compensate for physical deprivation. Being relatively pleasant individuals, young-looking sportsmen and young "shaped" young people, they don't really have to waste their time with the corrective efforts of their physique.
Besides, they don't really kill themselves with the efforts of being conservative individuals, often giving the impression of lazy or, at least, slow, whereas in reality the outward appearance is an important thing for them. This contributes to self-esteem and, when he respects himself and feels that no one wants to put sticks in his head, he becomes enthusiastic and lives his life to the fullest. At times like this, it falls into excess, into "too much."
That's how he ends up being very afraid to end up in these situations, to feel that he has no limits, because he is convinced that he will do things that he is ashamed of, whether they are sexually or socially, etc.
Since the masochist wants to appear strong and not controlled, he becomes very efficient and takes a lot of responsibility on himself. In addition, he has the talent to place himself in situations where he has to take care of another person, forgetting about himself more and more.
But every time the masochist seems to want to do everything for others, he really wants to create constraints and obligations. While dealing with others he thinks they won't be ashamed of him, but he often feels humiliated by being abused by him.
Moreover, he rarely feels recognized for everything he does, often considering himself devoted to the action, the group, etc. But then he doesn't realize that by doing everything for others he humiliates them, making them feel that without him they can't achieve anything. it even happens that this kind of person to make sure that the rest of the family and friends know clearly that a certain person can not do anything without their help, and this will do it right in front of the person he is helping (the latter often feeling humiliated by this gesture).
In contrast, the person suffering from humiliation often tends to blame himself for everything and even to take on the guilt of others (taking responsibility for something that does not belong to him and to blame himself for it). He always forgets that others can never make us feel guilty, because culpability comes only from ourselves.
And yet the masochist's greatest fear is freedom, convinced that he would not know what to do with it if he were free. So that, unconsciously, he manages not to be free, and he is the one who decides these things. believes that by making the choices alone, it will no longer be controlled by others, but often decisions bring the opposite result, and more constraints and obligations.
Or, in the conditions of adolescence and "gang euphoria", specific to this period, these behaviors are not among the most beneficial. especially since he's in some kind of self-trap, which makes a masochist to free himself on a certain plane, will restrict him on other levels.
Moreover, it creates a lot of situations in everyday life that force him to do certain things that do not meet his own needs. We put with all this and its characteristic to punish himself, believing that he punishes the other and here is a Molotov cocktail ready to be used (the masochist even has the talent to punish himself before anyone else does it - it is as if he wants to give his first blow and prepare in such a way that the blows of the other will make him less evil).
Also related to the danger of the gang, the masochistic teenager frequently finds himself as an intermediary between people, serving as a buffer between them. makes him a lawyer in all sorts of situations.
Remember, the more we feed a fear, the faster it will materialize! The stronger the wound of humiliation in a person, the more situations that will attract that person will be humiliated by someone else.
Just as important is remember that our ego is doing everything possible so that we don't see our wounds, because on an unconscious level we assigned it this mission. We are so afraid to relive the pain associated with each wound that we hesitate by all means that we have to recognize that if we experience a situation of humiliation, this is because we humiliate ourselves.
Those who humiliate us appear in our lives to show us how much we humiliate ourselves. And what is harder is to forgive ourselves because we don't usually realize that we are resentful of ourselves.
And, spiritual laws say that as long as a person has not experienced in love, he will have to return to earth to relive the same experience, coming back having the same souls but with different roles. All this to give us a chance to definitively solve what we have failed to regulate in our previous lives.
And finally, which I will "promote" repetitively, sadistically, whenever I think it is necessary, I will give you a simple quote from Victor Frankl: "Do not aim for success, for the more you want it and the more you make it a goal, the more you will miss it! For success, such happiness, cannot be traced. He must follow, and even so, as an unintentional side effect, from that dedication of man to a cause greater than himself or as a byproduct of self-giving to another person.
Happiness or success must come by itself, you must let them occur by not taking care of them. You must listen to what your conscience tells you to do and carry out that thing as best you can. Then you will experience the moments when success or happiness will follow you precisely because you have forgotten to think about them!!!" (either this and long-term, I repeat, in the long term).
Have a good, spornic and
soothing day!
Dorin, Merticaru